|Loop de Loop|
I would much rather think about the infinite than why love fails. Love is a feeling and feelings are thoughts. Thoughts are fleeting, born of electro-chemical actions and reactions in my brain. The same feelings may rise again and again, but eventually they will dissipate and disappoint. I’d rather use my thoughts to consider my actual neurons rather than get hung up on the drama that those neurons can create. The average brain has about 100 billion neurons, which is nowhere near infinity, but more than enough to leave me bewitched, bothered and bewildered on a daily basis.
My time on this earth is limited and I’ve wasted so much already. I only have so many breaths left in these aging lungs of mine. I inhale and hold my tongue as my thoughts fight to find an exit. I write down my moments of angst and frustration and find myself back at the starting line, not passing Go and not collecting $200. I seek clarity and calm and instead find myself treading water in a sea of confusion. There are those that think I need god and others that think I need a good slap upside the head. All I know is that I need food, water and a decent night’s sleep. Oh, and a little bit of love before I draw my last breath.