Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Mr. Lonely

Last week I was too depressed to write about anything, except being depressed. This week it's worse. I can barely write my name, but I'll do my best to eke out a few words, since I usually feel better after posting on my blog.

Everyone has been lonely at one time or another, but the worst feeling of all is to feel lonely among others. Feeling lonely in a family, with a wife just seems antithetical. I probably wouldn't feel this way, if I was the go-out-with-the-boys-on-Friday-night kind of guy, but I've never been that guy, not for the lack of trying though. I'm an artist, so solitude comes naturally to me, but loneliness is a whole other can of worms.

I took yesterday off to try and ease my emotional pain. I don't think it worked so well, but I don't have the option of taking another day off and going to the spa to relax. I need to show up to make my whopping $12.50 an hour. Plus, there is an author even tonight, so I must be on my best behavior. I suppose that means don't smoke too much weed at break, before having to introduce the author.

I'm fifty-five and wading in the shallows. I'm brave enough to head out to sea, but it's a lonely swim on my own. Companionship is a nice word, but a complex concept. Allies are often there to assist countries when they bomb other countries, but allies are not usually found when the troops are just emotionally down.

"Cheer up Charlie, do cheer up Charlie. Just be glad you're you."

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