Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The Hungry Buddhist

Some days I just want to turn off my phone alarm and pull the covers back over my head. Work can wait. Life is here to be lived, but that includes making a living, and in my case that's a meager living, made by selling books to the general public. On a day like Labor Day, we at the bookstore work a normal shift, but we get to watch all those lucky bastards, who have the day off, come strolling in after a lazy morning. They take up precious aisle space, waiting for a table at Vios and brunch.

Fall is obviously knocking on a door, with the days becoming noticeably shorter. There has been a bit of a chill in the air lately, but it's still too warm in my book. Still not quite jacket weather. My son starts school on Wednesday, barring a strike by the teachers. It's always a last minute thing, so that we're basically caught over a barrel. I all for paying teachers a decent wage. They should make more than NBA players in my oh-so-humble opinion, as long as they don't pressure me to put my kid on medication, in order to make their job easier.

I've been both lethargic and hungry lately, which must mean that my body is preparing for hibernation. The days are shortening quickly, and soon the gray blanket of winter will lay over the city.  Over the last few months, I've been craving milkshakes and ice cream. Not an eating habit I want to get into in my mid-fifties. Of course, there are many things that I crave that are out of my emotional and financial reach. As a good Buddhist, I need to crush these desires.

I still feel like a desperate and lonely little monkey boy, but I trudge through the day without pausing to gauge my emotional weather. The show must go on, and the show -- for the most part -- is my life. Lately I find myself rebuilding memories, searching for cohesion in my past. I prefer not wasting time being nostalgic, but maybe that mental state comes with getting older. I'd rather lose the map to the past, and concentrate on the now...and the coming weekend, of course.

One of the few holidays I observe religiously.

No comments: