Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Never Go Full Retard

Friends, morons, countrymen, lend me your ears and throw me your panties; I come to bury reason, not to embrace it. What even passes for reason anymore in this age of electronic wizardry, where citizens give away their rights and privacy with the tap of a finger? Most folks can't point out Afghanistan on a map, but now we all know that not only is Bruce Jenner an Olympic gold medalist, but he's also a world class freak; and I ain't hatin', I'm just sayin'.

We can't even teach our kids to add two plus three anymore without finding two's motivation and whether three feels threatened. You all remember when seven eight nine. It was a terrible tragedy. It's like the whole country has gone full retard, but we're Americans, damn it and we're proud of our ignorance and stupidity. We've got that Texas Thug, Tom DeLay saying on some ministry conman show, "...we stopped realizing that God created this nation, that he wrote the Constitution..."

Republican lawmaker Tom Cotton said about the recent anti-gay legislation in Indiana, I…think it’s important that we have a sense of perspective about our priorities. In Iran they hang you for the crime of being gay.” Right here in Seattle, a seventy-year-old black man was arrested last summer for carrying a golf club. He was actually using the golf club as a cane, but apparently the white officer felt threatened by this military veteran, who had never been arrested before. I'm telling you...full retard. 

It's very easy these days to feel that we're standing on the precipice of an apocalypse. The current phrase en vogue is the Sixth Extinction. We still have global warming deniers. Worse than that, a recent poll released by the National Science Foundation showed that 1 in 4 Americans thinks that the sun revolves around the earth. The whole country has gone full retard and we're fiddling with our smart phones while the earth burns.

In the long run though, our existence is just a blink of an eye in this vast universe of ours. When all of human consciousness has been snuffed out, there will still be the ever-changing universe around us. There just won't be any humans to take senseless pride in their temporary existence, giving it much more meaning than it deserves, which is nil. Men are no better than women. Straights are no better than gays. Whites are certainly no better than black or brown people. Humans are not even any more important than the eagle that soars above or the mouse that crawls below...we just think we are.

And what are thoughts? If I give you a penny for your thoughts than I've overvalued your thinking. Whether one believes that global warming is man enhanced, or god's destiny, in the end none of it matters. You can't take it with you. Or rather: You cannot take you with you. Once you've exhaled that last breath and your synapses have powered down, that's it. You are still matter, but that matter no longer contains any consciousness. Just ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.

No comments: