Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Just So Ridiculous

Sometimes I swear that this society of ours is hanging on by a thread. We're all supposed to believe in the existence and value of paper money and coinage, otherwise they are worthless. We are all supposed to support the institution of marriage, otherwise the concept will just fall apart. Laws! Don't even get me started on laws! Sure, we need to make certain things illegal, such as murder. That's a no-brainer, but why is it that law enforcement can murder with impunity, and soldiers are formed into murderers and then, after serving their purpose as cannon fodder, they are sent back home to fend for themselves.

I am convinced that the world has lost its definition of love. Nobody cares about you or me, just the bottom dollar. For instance, the owner of the bookstore where I work, owns a Tesla automobile. These cars start at $100,000! Yet he somehow is not able to see the sense of paying his employees for Thanksgiving or Christmas, during the time of the year when we bring in the most money. We were once told that our store hasn't really been turning a profit in the beginning, but when you own 15 shopping malls across the country, along with other investments, I think you can afford to throw your dogs a few bones.

Anger doesn't do anything except remind me that I feel out of place in this time and location. It's beginning to dawn on me that the reason that I don't have more friends is that I am a misanthrope through and through. I've had friends over the years, but they were never the kind of friends with an ear to spare for my problems. They would never ask after my family, or my health. For whatever reason, I attracted very self-centered friends, probably because I'm a good listener and polite and I've always found time to listen to the needs of others.

Now I'm fifty-three. My family is about as far from me emotionally as they are physically. I still feel like an outsider in my own house (forgive me, but I do.) A lot of this has to do with thinking differently that those I surround myself with. I have to expect some static if I choose to have relationships with people, whose beliefs are the polar opposite of mine. It's saddening and tiring.

Now I have nine minutes until my dinner break. I suppose I will eat at Vio's cafe here in the bookstore, but only because I have zero other options. I'm pretty damn tired of chicken souvlaki. I'm battling a virus of some sort, which means that I would rather be at home in bed, than trying to decide what to eat for dinner. Oh well.

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