Friday, July 18, 2014

Memories

Okay. I'm aging. I have been since I was a zygote, but I am now feeling the process more more succinctly. When we are young we tend to think we're immortal, even if it's only on a subconscious level. What I have noticed as I enter my mid-fifties, is my tendency to bring up old moldy memories and burnish them to a rosy glow. My imagination fills in the blanks, but my surface consciousness believes what it sees (or I imagine.) Memories like joining the air force at seventeen, and being on a jet for the very first time, as I began my adulthood with a flight to San Antonio, Texas. I've learned since then that Texas is a good place to avoid (my apologies to my friends in Texas.)

I have many memories associated with my first marriage. I, like so many other divorced people, used the old we-married-too-young excuse. It's true, but one sometimes takes risks, makes mistakes and stumbles on this bumpy journey called human life. Most of our so-called life is in our heads anyway. All of our memories are recreated every time we require the presence of past life event files from our musty old file-room of a mind. I look back on my air force days, and my first marriage and see an almost separate individual from the one having the memories. In reality, I am only connected to those past events by those tenuous memories.

I have started to openly talk about my cannabis use, more than just allude to it as I did in past posts. One reason is that the herb is now legal to use recreationally is this great green state of Washington. The other reason is as I stated above: I am getting old, and as I get older, I find that I just want to be accepted for who I am. Let me rephrase that: As I get older and closer to my last breath, I find that I feel the need to be myself; who I truly feel I am at my best moments. Part of that just includes includes living more honestly. It would be great if friends and family could accept me without judgment, but their inability to do that will not prevent me from trying to keep on the road to reality as I continue towards the fading light of day.

Anybody who has used cannabis probably knows of its ability to spur the oddest memories. I have thought of things from my past that I hadn't thought of in decades. I have always found that weed is good for the creative imagination. I love to draw, or write while high. It's also a good state of mind to just sit and contemplate the universe. Who doesn't remember the classic scene from the film Animal House, where the professor -- played by Donald Sutherland -- explains to his student, after sharing a joint the theory that an entire universe could be contained within a cell on his fingernail. Even Carl Sagan used weed to enhance his thinking, or rather allow his thinking to take paths it normally wouldn't.

So, that's my pro-pot piece for Friday evening. I took a sick day today. I guess you could call it a mental health day. I have friends that could have probably used this chill-out day more than I could, but if I had time to give, I would wrap it up and send it out with some free Seattle bud to go with it.

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