Thursday, December 3, 2009

Tigers and Rabbits

Poor Tiger Woods. He thought he could actually avoid media scrutiny when he drove his SUV into a fire hydrant and then his neighbor's tree. He lives in a gated community. It was 2:25 am (give or take a few minutes.) Shh. Nobody has to know a thing. The local police did their best, but once the "news" outlets smell the blood in the water, it's all over. Next thing you know you've got secret lovers coming out of the woodwork, all lawyered up with their hands out. It's a free-for-all!

Pretty soon the story seeps into the legitimate news organizations (stifle laughter here.) Silly rabbit. There's no such thing as legitimate news organizations. If there were George W. Bush would never have served a second term, and he and his cohorts would be sitting in some cushy federal prison right now.

So, who really cares about the Tiger Woods story? Is the news media giving us want we want? Or are they feeding us this dreck to keep us stupefied. One of those Look over here tricks, meanwhile they're about to send another 30,000 troops into Afghanistan. But there's news of Tiger's "transgression" lasting 31 months. That's, let's see...that's two years and seven months! Wow, that is news!

The best related headline I saw today was, "Endorsements Appear to be Safe." When it comes right down to it, that's what it's all about. Will Tiger have to have the Nike swoosh tattoo removed from his ass? America is waiting...

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